![]() ![]() So, they fire some flimsy mooring cables into the skyscrapers of downtown Chicago, which is apparently enough to hold the ship in place. Our heroes need to buy time to get off Lockdown’s ship, which is spinning up its dark matter drives to escape Earth. Wahlberg finding that gun is like you finding tweezers that shoot bullets in a weapons locker.ĥ) Lockdown’s ship is held in place by some flimsy cables. I remind you how big the Transformers are. Our heroes, including Mark Wahlberg, playing down-on-his-luck inventor Cade Yeager (which almost deserves a spot on this list), infiltrate Lockdown’s ship to rescue Optimus.ĭuring the rescue, Wahlberg discovers a cache of Transformer weapons, including one that’s just about the size of an assault rifle. Lockdown, a Transformer bounty hunter assisting Attinger, captures Optimus Prime in the middle of the movie. What the hell are Tom, Dick, and Harry going to do with their own, private Transformer? Ask it to mow the lawn? Send it out for groceries? Get help washing the dishes?Ĥ) There was a human-sized weapon on Lockdown’s ship. Joyce is using the metal to make human-constructed Transformers, some of which will go to market as civilian models. In Age of Extinction CIA agent Harold Attinger (Kelsey Grammer) is hunting down the Transformers because he wants to melt them down and give the raw material, which is called “transformium,” by the way, to an evil Steve Jobs-type technologist, Joshua Joyce, played by Stanley Tucci. Because only Japanese people fight with swords.ģ) The humans are making civilian models of Transformers. But why would someone who’s spent five years watching his people get murdered by humans want to emulate humans in any way? ![]() And maybe Drift spent the last five years watching Kurosawa movies. OK, the Autobots have had a lot of free time on their hands. Age of Extinction introduces Drift, an autobot the filmmakers decided to style after a stereotypical Japanese samurai. Remember when pretty much every critic who saw Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen slammed the film for portraying two autobots, Mudflap and Skids, as racist black stereotypes?Īpparently Michael Bay and his production team learned nothing from the experience. It was actually a race of aliens dropping little bombs which turn organic matter into the malleable metal that Transformers are made from.Ģ) The autobot Drift looks like a samurai and speaks with a Japanese accent. The dinosaurs went extinct when a meteor hit the Earth and made a huge crater in Mexico, blotting out the sun with a massive dust cloud, right? Nope. ![]() Here’s a look at some of the most disastrous moments and revelations:ġ) The alien race that created the Transformers were also responsible for wiping out the dinosaurs. Age of Extinction was funnier than most Hollywood comedies I’ve seen over the past decade, even though it didn’t mean to be. ![]() But I don’t regret a penny of the ticket price. I’ve never laughed out loud so much, at times I was not supposed to be laughing, as I did in the theater for Transformers: Age of Extinction.Įven having been prepared for another loud, vapid Michael Bay production, the movie is a trainwreck. The first three Transformers movies are comparatively works of genius. DiMaggio and Ryan will take on the new characters Crosshairs and Lockdown respectively, while Foxworth reprises the role of Ratchet and Wilson returns as Brains.Warning: This story contains “massive spoilers” but honestly, you’re doing yourself a favor by not seeing Transformers: Age of Extinction. Rounding out the voice-over cast are actors John DiMaggio, Mark Ryan, Robert Foxworth and Reno Wilson. I’ve been fortunate to work with some of the best voice talent in the business, and together we will introduce several exciting new robots to fans of the franchise around the world.” “And to reteam with Peter and Frank, who have brought Transformers characters alive from the beginning. “I am pleased to welcome two gifted and versatile actors, John Goodman and Ken Watanabe, to the world of Transformers,” said Bay. Goodman will play Autobot Hound, Watanabe will play Drift, while Cullen reprises his role as the voice of Optimus Prime, and Welker takes on another new character, Galvatron. Goodman and Watanabe will join legendary voice actors Peter Cullen and Frank Welker. HOLLYWOOD, CA (May 8, 2014) – Director Michael Bay has tapped John Goodman and Ken Watanabe to voice two all new Autobots in his highly anticipated film “TRANSFORMERS: AGE OF EXTINCTION,” the fourth film in the global blockbuster franchise from Paramount Pictures. Here’s the press release via Michael Bay’s blog: ![]()
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